——Miao Yin
Before November 2016, I was an absolute atheist. My neighbor was a university teacher who believed in Buddhism and made offerings to Buddhas. As I almost knew nothing about Buddhism, I was quiet dismissive of her behavior and laughed at her from the bottom of my heart.
Acquaintance with The Ontology of Mind
I had a week of vacation in November at home. I happened to read Nan Huaijin’s article “Seven days of the South Chan.” After this, I began the practice of Zazen. Initially, I could only have one leg crossed and sit for ten minutes. Since I couldn't understand many of the concepts and contents of Master Nan’s lecture, I borrowed some books, but I still could not understand them. Then I went to some QQ groups to see if I could find something helpful. I happened to find one established by Master Qingliang Yue. A senior apprentice in that group sent a link to the teacher’s Weibo, on which I read almost all the articles written by the teacher. Strongly persuaded by Yisheng, another senior apprentice, I enrolled the theory class and began the study of the Ontology of Mind at the end of January 2017.
The first lesson in the theory class is “knowing yourself”. After class I was very confused about the theories. By watching the video of the lecture repeatedly and reading the book, I seemed to understand what the teacher had taught. But when it came to the homework, I was totally at a loss. I learned from other classmates and consulted the excellent homework, and then submitted my homework, which was carefully corrected by the teaching assistant. Doggedly I pressed on until I gradually had a better understanding of the Ontology of Mind. At the end of the course, I took the examination and got a G+. Then for the second time, I attended the theory class, from which I came to know the rigorous thinking of the teacher’s lecture, the value of the Ontology of Mind, and erudition of the teaching assistant. In this class, I took the initiative to record the screen.
Zen Meditation Class: a Galaxy of Talents
I am a simple man and don’t think too much. Once I start something, I will stick to it as much as possible. After the meditation class started, the teacher divided us into small groups so that everyone could share their feelings and empirical experience every day. There were only six or seven people in my group. Dr Huang was our leader. There were many talents in our group, such as professor in psychology, yoga instructor, etc. Under the guidance of Dr Huang, I began to observe dozing process. Slowly I could observe the piece of thought that made me fall asleep. Then I came out of drowsiness and entered a state of clearness. This time, I started to watch the mind. Although I could observe some thoughts, I could not guarantee the validity of the empirical practice for a relatively long period of time.
Later, the teacher taught us to watch slow motions. As a person who hardly dreams (there are almost no dreams in my memory), it is very difficult for me to observe real visions. So I continued to watch dozing off and gradually became familiar with that process. During the whole course, I was very hardworking. Because I didn’t get enough sleep at night and failed to reach a relatively high level in the meditation practice, I was again tortured by artificial urticaria, a disease which troubled me five years ago but never appeared one year after I took part in outdoor activities and had a strong immunity. Now every time I get itchy skin, I will have meditation, which can always remove the symptom. I don't want to take any medicine because when I take drugs I feel better, but feel bad again when I stop.
In the month before the Samadhi Training Course, I continued to observe the process of dozing off, and became more familiar with this process. Later, I utilized sounds for the empirical practice. By listening to the sounds of the sea, listening to the dropping of water, I had greatly improved my hearing ability, which later made it possible for me to hear my breathing and snoring and to judge the depth of my subconscious platform.
Let me add one more point. While I was studying theories, I read our mentor’s articles on Weibo. I was very interested in the article on watching hands. Following the teacher’s method, I really found “Chi” on hands. Once as I was watching my hands, Qipi (unpleasant qi) appeared in the thigh. As I did not know the rationale, I kept observing Qipi consciously, and then I was made very uncomfortable because the thigh felt like a rubber leg suffering from schistosomiasis. Thereafter, every time I got Qipi, I would stop the meditation practice.
Another point. At the end of Zen Meditation training course, I suddenly felt the whole body swelling like a balloon full of gas for two days. I couldn't fall asleep at night and walked lightly during the day. I was very scared and didn't know what was going on. Now I understand that more exercise can solve my problem.
The great feeling of entering samadhi after my senior apprentice’s selfless help
During our Samadhi practical training course, our mentor pointed out why virtuous character was vital for our practical training, as well as introduced fundamental breath attention Dharma. I improved really fast during the course. There was one time when my boss had a speech in our company meeting, I literally gave no intention to what he said, but was only attracted by the “Chi”，my whole body didn’t move during the whole session.
Although I thought I did theoretical study pretty well, but during my meditation session AKA “the real fight”, there were still many obstacles I had to face. Lucky me, my meditation group leader Mr WoZhi told me the key for meditation was “focusing ONLY on Chi”, nothing else. He also pointed out what was the different between focus and motionless still, telling me that many people couldn’t obtain meditation progress just because of it. Also there is a ratio between focus and motionless still, all in all “more focus more progress.” Regress session is also the fact that may happen to many meditation practitioners, as meditation could be effected by many reasons, such as: wind, rain, bad mood, etc. I was the one who couldn’t skip it either. My Chi totally disappeared. Our group leader Mr DaHai asked me to increase physical exercises in order to skip this regress curve. And I made it.
I barely skipped one class and after class discussions during the whole meditation training course. And I not only increased my physical exercises intensively, but also gave up friend chatting and after work hang out time. I put all my effort into meditation practices. However, my strong desire to enter samadhi made my consciousness became even more active during meditation session. That strongly affected my focus of subconsciousness. The fully understanding of different between “Collaboration with Chi consciously” and “Collaboration with Chi subconsciously” is the main key to enter samadhi. Even though I understood this theory, I still couldn’t fully execute “subconscious focus on Chi”. That took me a long time wonder around in this dead circle without any progress.
We were divided into two groups: “group of correct” and “group of conquering obstacles”. I selected “group of conquering obstacles”. There was one night in our online group discussion, my meditation case almost became “solo of the night”, everyone was helping me analyze my meditation problems and trying to help me fix it. That made me not only feel like I was not alone but also encouraged me tremendously. I started extending meditation time to three hours, and did even more workouts (table tennis, running and yoga). I also communicated with my group leader Mr. Xuzhao more often. I shared my meditation diary with him a lot. He guided me on how to relax and being more open minded, which benefited me tremendously. After dealing with all these problems, my meditation started to get into right track. My subconscious focus and chi integrated more smoothly and deeply. That led me to the point I had no thoughts but integrated with Chi. And finally I made myself enter samadhi.
